myopic pilgrim

I’m breaking the silence. This list includes labor, delivery, and the first few weeks of a new baby.

1. Rocket poop. See if you don’t yell the first time the poop comes hurtling out of your newborn with the force of a cherry bomb.

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Generally, cover songs are never as good as the originals. And when we’re talking about a musical genius like Stevie Wonder that should always be true. But here are a few covers of Stevie Wonder songs that I think one-up the original.

The Covers
1. Gangsta’s Paradise by Coolio - not exactly a cover, I know. I think Coolio does a better job realizing Wonder’s vision on this.
2. Lately by Jodeci - Didn’t know this was a cover. The original is too fast; this live version carries more emotion.
3. They Won’t Go When I Go by George Michael - He really just nails this. Do people know what a soulful singer he is?
4. Higher Ground by Red Hot Chili Peppers - There’s more power and urgency here.

The Originals by Stevie Wonder
1. Pastime Paradise
2. Lately
3. They Won’t Go When I Go
4. Higher Ground

In case you end up playing that game this Thanksgiving where you’re asked to share something you’re thankful for, here are the top 5 things I, as a good Christian, am thankful for.

I am thankful:

1. That we live in a Christian nation.
2. That our President is a Christian defending Christian values (not the value of taking care of widows, orphans, and foreigners in our land, the other ones. The good ones).
3. That God wants to give me the desires of my heart. (Dear Santa God, I desire a 13 inch, 2 gigabyte MacBook).
4. That I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.
5. That Halloween and its pagan traditions are behind us and we can look forward to the pure Christian holiday of Christmas.

I am, however, truly thankful for my smoking hot wife.

Many churches will throw a Harvest Party instead of a Halloween Party. What this means in practical terms is instead of having costumes and candy like the world Christians have—well, costumes and candy. Really, the difference you might see is in the costumes good Christians will choose. No wizards, ghouls, or vampires here. But don’t think you’d be safe dressing up as any biblical figure you might fancy. There are limits.

1. Dancing King David - Grab your underwear and dance around in celebration. This might go over better with the Elders if you have an Ark of the Covenant handy. (2 Sam. 6:16-22)
2. Salome - Daughter of King Herod. You need some scarves, a silver platter with a decapitated head. Watch a few hours worth of Shakira and you’re set. (Mark 6:21-29)
3. Balaam’s Ass - Join Christians everywhere who enjoy getting the chance to use ass as a pun. This may need two people to pull off. Cast lots for who gets to be the head. (Num. 22:21-31)
4. Adam or Eve - Two words. Fig leaf. (Gen. 3:6-7)
5. Jesus - I just can’t see it happening.

What are the other worst Christian costumes?

edit - No else seems to want to play. So I just added my top 5 to the original post.

I got a $15 gift card for iTunes for my birthday. Help me spend it by giving me your top five essential songs. The singles can be obscure or classics, mainstream or indie (plug your sister’s band), from established bands or up and comers. In fact, you get extra points for a well-rounded list.

Here’s mine (the song title links to iTunes; the artist name links to their website):

1. We Are in Love - Harry Connick, Jr.
2. Island of Souls - Sting
3. All She Said - Toad the Wet Sprocket
4. What’s Going On? - Marvin Gaye
5. I Need a Hero - Chris Rice

Whew! That was harder than I thought.