Archive for the 'revisionist wit' Category

In Response to Questions About the Baby I Was Holding While Talking on the Phone

My Baby Son: goo goo ga ga
She said: Oh my, I can hear your son.
I said: I’m holding him while I talk to you.
She said: Oh, are you babysitting (your son)?
I said: Um, no. This is my own son.
She said: Yeah, but is your wife out then?
I said: Nope. She’s in the house doing things.

I should’ve said: Nope. I’m just, you know, being a father.

Posted by jos' on October 25th, 2007 .
Filed under: revisionist wit | 10 Comments »

In Response to a Comment about my Duffel Bag

He said: Is that a rainbow on your bag
I said: Yeah, it’s from Hawaii.
He said: Isn’t the rainbow the symbol for the gay community?
I said: Oh, I don’t know. Is it?

I should’ve said: I thought it was a symbol of God’s promise to not flood the earth again.

Posted by jos' on July 17th, 2006 .
Filed under: revisionist wit | 3 Comments »

In Response to Someone Militantly Optimistic

We (and by we, I mean my wife) have had two miscarriages. The person I’m talking to has had none.

He said: I hear congratulations are in order!
I said: Yeah, I guess the planets aligned for us.
He said: And how are you guys doing?
I said: We’re doing all right.
He said: Just all right? Come on, now!
I said: We’re just being cautiously hopeful.

I should’ve said: Well, you know how it is. Remember how you felt when you lost two pregnancies? Oh… I guess not.

Posted by jos' on May 1st, 2006 .
Filed under: chronicle, revisionist wit | 5 Comments »

In Response To Someone Asking About the Church Name Change

He said: I just don’t think churches have to compromise.
I said: We figured Jesus is enough of a stumbling block. Why place other obstacles there like a name no one understands.

I should’ve said: Also, we feel freedom to compromise on things we’re allowed to compromise on. You know, styles of music, styles of dress, circumcision, meat sacrificed to idols.

Posted by jack on September 7th, 2004 .
Filed under: revisionist wit | 2 Comments »

A Conversation I’ve Never Had

Them: Hey, you didn’t capitalize the Y in you when you referred to God. Why don’t you want to honor God?

Me: Believe me. I’ve dishonored God worse than this. I’m pretty sure he’s more concerned that I haven’t ministered to the imprisoned, the orphans and the widows.

Posted by jack on May 22nd, 2004 .
Filed under: miscellany, revisionist wit | No Comments »

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  • The Ragamuffin Gospel

    The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning

  • The Eyre Affair: A Thursday Next Novel

    The Eyre Affair: A Thursday Next Novel by Jasper Fforde

  • Like a Hole in the Head

    Like a Hole in the Head by Jen Banbury

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