Top 5 Things They Don’t Tell You About Having a Baby

I’m breaking the silence. This list includes labor, delivery, and the first few weeks of a new baby.

1. Rocket poop. See if you don’t yell the first time the poop comes hurtling out of your newborn with the force of a cherry bomb.
2. Babies are cost you bank.The cost of the sheer number of diapers and formula is enough rivals the gross national product of Tunisia. Okay, maybe they tell you about this, but no one can impress upon you the vast amount of money you’ll be spending on these and other baby-related needs.
3. Emptying of bowels during labor. All that pushing; it’s bound to happen. Well, sometimes it happens.
4. Episiotomy or Tearing. Very possible she’ll have one if not the other. This item translates into love your wife.
5. “They look swollen.”When you see your baby boy for the first time, rest assured his testicles are supposed to be that large. It’s like the size of his cranium, he’ll grow into it.