My Son Discovers There’s Water in the Toilet

Last Sunday after Sunday worship at church my wife tells me she’s going into the men’s restroom to get Mateo. She didn’t see him right away. She finds him in the stall, scooping water out of the toilet into his mouth. Or maybe just to wash his mouth.

We had lunch at Lamppost Pizza (which is really good, by the way) with a two other young families. Mateo was being willful. He didn’t want to eat. He didn’t want to sit down. I spent most of lunch standing outside with him. We figured he was tired because on Sundays he doesn’t get a morning nap.

When we’re saying good-bye to everyone in the parking lot, he vomits on me. Twice. Mateo has spat up before when he was younger, but this qualifies as his first actual vomit. We forgave him for his fussiness over lunch and we wondered what sorts of germs he picked up in a toilet in an elementary.

Did I already mention he had diarrhea the rest of the day? No? Well, he did. And he leaked a couple of times.

Don’t worry he’s all better now, but earlier this week I did catch him scooping toilet water in our house now.

And again last night at Dawson’s house.

Possibly Related

  • Doctor broke Susan’s water.
  • Songs to Wear Pants to
  • Back From Carribean Cruise
  • 12 Responses to “ My Son Discovers There’s Water in the Toilet”

    1. kenny says:

      That’s really funny; obviously disturbing and gross, too.

    2. jose says:

      I’ve never written about the rocket-propelled poop. That falls under disturbing and gross.

    3. nichole says:

      hmm…sick dude.

      mostly i wanted to comment and say how excited i am that you’re on the haiku bandwagon…i love them.

    4. kenny says:

      To spiritualize this charming anecdote, I wonder how often God finds his children drinking out of the toilet.

    5. Ali says:

      Michael thinks maybe Mateo is just feeling a little dehydrated. Maybe invest in a sippy cup.

    6. Abby says:

      Yeah, we saw the vomit as we drove away - you dodged well I thought. Then we had some of our own problems - a pull over for a diaper change and a screaming child the whole way home. But good lunch! :)

    7. jos' says:

      I caught plenty of it on me. I don’t think I did any dodging. I drove home shirtless. It’s not as sexy as it sounds.

      You just wait, Ali. Your time will come.

    8. Ali says:

      Oh Eliza had already had her first puke. Although her’s wasn’t self induced. It seems that formula doesn’t agree with her. I found this out while at Target. Clean up on isle 4! I waddled out of the store soaked and smelling of old cheese.

    9. Ali says:

      Oh I did leave my shirt on as I drove home though.

    10. smalls says:

      Ok, going to try again to post. They have a toilet seat lock, so only the adults can get into it. Put a bucket, not deep, like a dish pan, down on the floor with a towel under it when he goes to the toilet to play. Say no to the toilet, then bring him to the bucket and say yes. Then let him play it it. Add a toy to it. Lots of fun. Redirects. But eww.. give the boy more to drink! ;0)

    11. jos' says:

      So the bucket has some water in it? Interesting.

    12. smalls says:

      ooops. yeah, the bucket has water in it. I just wanted to give you credit for knowing that already. yeah, that’s it. :)

    Leave a Reply

    XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>