Why TV Dads Are Portrayed as the Fool
Will commented (on my post about being called a babysitter for my son) that another pet peeve of his is the portrayal of dads on TV as “bumbling idiots.” Remember the dad from Good Times
Dad Is the Butt of Jokes because He’s the Boss
Is it funny because it’s true? Dad needs help finding his socks and can be fooled by wacky schemes. Maybe the finding his socks part. But I think it was funny (at first) because of a classic comedic device: make fun of the the person in power. At your conference, the comedian you hired makes fun of management, not Buck from the mail room. Bob Hope doing a show for the soldiers made fun of officers, not the grunts. It’s not funny to laugh at those weaker than you or those in a weaker position than you. In our male-dominated world the one with the most social power is the white male. And more so, in the family it’s the father.
It’s Not Funny Anymore
But we really don’t live in that sort of world anymore, do we? At least not to the same extent. Because of this I’ve told my wife that when we’re in public that we don’t join in joking about how she’s really the one who wears the pants in the family. I don’t want us to join in because it’s not funny anymore simply because I don’t wield power over my wife as if she were my possession. We try (and fail and try again) to have an actual biblical relationship as husband and wife, where we are equals and partners, submitting to one another in the fear of Christ. We each have roles that we play as defined by our strengths and weaknesses. So can we lay that stereotype to rest alongside the Black Guy who has the cool catchphrase?
kenny says:
October 27th, 2007 at 11:57 am
Interesting post . . . stereotypes don’t bother me, but that’s probably because I’m essentially a white lawyer, so I don’t get the brunt of it much. Of course, I’m not actually white, (half-Chinese) but stereotypes are about how one is treated, and I’m treated as if I were white. Also, I and the other Chinese I know are pro-authoritarian and fairly comfortable with stereotypes. It’s a point-of-view that has it’s strengths and weaknesses.
Also, I’m stumbling over your description of biblical marriage as a relationship between “equal partners.” The model I wrestle with for marriage is “husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church,” which is a LOT of things, but one thing it isn’t is an analogy about equals. It’s actually much harder than that.
To some extent I’m quibbling over semantics, but I’m also thinking it’s useful to have appropriately defined terms.
jose says:
October 27th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
maybe I was baiting folks a bit with saying the biblical model is “equal partners.” It’s Paul I’m quoting when I wrote “submit yourselves to one another,” but I guess one can argue that he of course didn’t mean husbands and wives. If you ask my wife she believes I’m the head of the household. And if you asked me I would say the same thing. Of course, I’d be a fool not to take the counsel of my wife, etc.
I hinted a little at Paul’s exhortations for the husband to love and the wife to respect (”we each have roles that we play”), but in this case I was thinking of Adam and Eve before the curse.
I suppose to contrast the clueless dad stereotype I should have emphasized the role of the father as the head of the family.
Rob says:
October 29th, 2007 at 8:18 am
Stereotypes do bother me at times, but generally I don’t let them get the best of me.
T.V. is such a great example of the bashing of husbands/fathers. I can think of many shows that portray the male as an idiot with no sense in life. I’m proud to hear about you and your wife’s views as you take a stance on your views.
Smalls says:
November 2nd, 2007 at 7:49 pm
OK guys,
I have lots to say about this topic, but I will keep it somewhat short.
Some excellent examples of tv dads:
#1 Bill Cosby
#2 Tony (Whose the Boss)
#3 Jonathan Kent
#4 Michael Kyle (My Wife and Kids)
#5 Tim Taylor, he was a fool with tools, but a good dad.
#6 And honestly, I think Jim is a pretty good dad.
There are many more, but I will stop there for length.
Dads, they are not bumbling fools. They have different priorities. The main goal is healthy, happy, safe kids.
The rest is a matter of preference. Most mom’s make the kids clothes match, dad just wants them dressed appropriately for the weather.
Mom will style the hair, dads just want it brushed and clean.
Just a few examples of different priorities.
Second, if a dad is at work all day, and the mom is at home, the mom will have more tricks up her sleave to get things done efficiently. But if dad stayed home then it would be the other way around. If both parents are working then the caregiver may have more tricks up their sleeve. It doesn’t make any one of the members a bumbling fool. There are very few men I know that would even qualify. Actually I don’t even know any. The ones I know by stereo type definition are just lacking knowledge. Once they were taught, they were fine. And if you only knew how many new mom’s come to me for advice in my line of work. It is scary to raise a child, especially the first one. I used to say my kids would have to come out of the womb when they were 3 or I would have no idea what to do with them. Then after working in the infant rooms, I learned, and again, I was asked advice by new mom’s. Everyone is a bumbling fool until they are taught. That’s the value of elders. Wisdom. Imagine if you were Adam and Eve with a first child!
If you want to find the positive, it’s out there, and you will find it. If you want to find the negative then you will find that too. It’s out there. Your kids and your wife will tell you exactly what kind of dad you are, and in the end that is all that matters. Everyone else is just ignorant. They don’t know what your daily life is like with your family.
Oh well, I did say some what short.
jos' says:
November 7th, 2007 at 12:25 am
Except for maybe Jonathan Kent and sometimes Cliff Huxtable (Bill Cosby) all those dads are pretty foolish. Would you really compare any of them to John Amos’s character on Good Times?
But they’re all good dads. Never said they weren’t. They love their family and in the end do what’s right.
And I’m not talking about actual fathers in the real world, but how father’s are portrayed.
Smalls says:
November 7th, 2007 at 12:45 pm
I never saw Good Times. I just thought they were ones that were not the typical stereo type. Especially compared to the dad on Married with Children, or the Simpsons, etc.