myopic pilgrim

…the skills I learned were learned to serve my considerable (and fragile) ego. During a rehearsal a few weeks ago one of the members of the vocal team asked how I learned to lead worship. I think she was referencing a particular Sunday where I was little more hands-on, teaching the congregation a three part chant. In different context some folks might say I had presence, that I had command of stage. I don’t always walk the length of the stage and address people as if I was a cheerleader (usually I’m rooted in one spot. I might stomp my foot every other week, but mostly I just close and open my eyes), but occasionally I find it’s appropriate in our context.

I answered her without thinking too much. I said something like, It’s because I’ve learned to create the attention I enjoy so much. She laughed because she thought I was kidding. The truth is, some of the things I do or say are very similar to what I’ve done when I performed in coffee shops or bars. And those things I learned to do because I got positive feedback (i.e. praise), so I’d do them again. That’s what I meant when I said that I learned to get that kind of attention. In short, I learned to lead worship in that hands-on (charismatic?) way because of vanity.

There it is. I confess the skills I learned were learned to serve my considerable (and fragile) ego. But I believe even this is being redeemed by God. If the mechanics are the same, the presentation isn’t necessarily so. Whereas performing for the public I was sang as if I was meant to be there, when I lead worship it’s with awareness of how small I am before the Creator. Also, my motivation is totally different. In the bar it’s usually “look at me” (even “I’ll make it so you can’t help but pay attention to me”). If you do look at me, you’ll have a good time. With the Church, my hope is that you’ll look at Jesus, and honestly, I don’t know how much I care whether you have a good time or not. It’s all about you, Jesus.

We just received our Aviom System. This is a monitoring system where musicians and singers have personal mixers (model no. A-16) and create their own monitor mix out of 16 inputs and it doesn’t effect anyone else’s. You can also create a different mix for different songs and recall them quickly. And this is all sent over Cat-5 cable.

I thought this would work out for us because then the sound techs can pay more attention to the house sound and musicians/singers dial in exactly what they need.

Our specific configuration includes 4 personal mixers (AN-16II), a distributor (A-16D), and the input module (AN-16/i) that converts analog inputs from your mixer board (or whatever) to digital (hence the Cat-5 cable). We’re also using a Mackie 8-bus mixer.

I’ll try to post updates on what I’ve learned about setting up and using it.

I don’t know what kind of reaction I expected to get after speaking about the Darfur Genocide at Living Stones, a local college group. Something along the lines of a flood of questions about it and what can be done. The comments–nevermind any follow-up questions–was more like a trickle. And that mainly from the leadership and the friends I had that attend that group. I have to remember that it was a ten year process (I’m counting the years from the time it I ignored what I knew what was happening in Rwanda) for me to be this active.

I had big plans for how my church would get involved, but I’ve since become more realistic (I’m surprised I’m not more discouraged). Just a simple table in the foyer with take home information, a chance to sign a letter calling for sustained action, and an opportunity to give to the Save Darfur Coalition.

[tags]activism, Darfur, genocide[/tags]

I can’t help it. I laugh every time I see this photo from dooce.com that she titled “The…horror…the…horror!”

I’m quicker to criticize and judge Church members than I am non-members. I do think that those who haven’t placed their faith in Jesus’ resurrection will not see God. I do think there is absolute truth somewhere out there though I wonder how much any of us can be confident to know it (note I said I wonder, as in I ponder and chew it over).

However, the bulk of my condemnation goes to those Christians (like me) who believe they have been given much (like redemption from sin and reconciliation with God) and are more concerned with learning more about what Jesus and the Apostles said, but not doing much in emulating the things they did.

So there are those who will rail at the world and their lies and relativism and they tell me I should preach the truth and oppose false teachings. I need those people in the Church. I need them to encourage and challenge me. For myself, I will spend more time chastising the believer into passionately obeying the Master than condemning the world for being under sin’s curse.